


Keep Carrying On

by incogneatoh



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x20, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, M/M, Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:49:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27709297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incogneatoh/pseuds/incogneatoh
Summary: "So Jack did all that?" Dean asks as he gratefully takes a beer from Bobby. "Well...Cas helped." Bobby answers with a shrug. Dean shakes his head and finds he can't help the sideways smile that makes its way across his face.In which Dean takes his first drive in Heaven.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 169





	Keep Carrying On

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little something I needed to get out after the finale. We may never know exactly where Dean went on his first drive in Heaven, but we sure can imagine a few things!

"So Jack did all that?" Dean asks as he gratefully takes a beer from Bobby.

"Well...Cas helped." Bobby answers with a shrug. Dean shakes his head and finds he can't help the sideways smile that makes its way across his face. He lets out a quiet laugh to himself as he looks back at Bobby. Bobby sighs, "It's a big new world out there. You'll see."

Dean takes a swig of his beer and makes a face. "Oh, wow...this tastes like the first drink I ever shared with my dad."

"Quality stuff?" Bobby asks, but he already knows the answer. "No, it's crap," Dean laughs, "But it was fantastic."

"Just like this." Bobby replies, looking out at the trees that surround them.

"It's _almost_ perfect." Dean says, suddenly feeling overridden with guilt that Sam isn't there with him to experience the Heaven they'd never imagined possible. He can't fathom enjoying this, being _happy_ , without his brother. Dean wants nothing more than to share this with Sam, but he supposes Sam still has work to do on Earth. He swallows, trying not to let on that his throat suddenly feels tight.

"He'll be along," Bobby replies softly. "Time up here it's...it's different. You got everything you could ever want, or need, or dream. So I guess the question is, what are you gonna do now, Dean?" He smiles at Dean, as if he already knows the answer.

"I think I'll go for a drive." Dean says as Baby catches his eye. Somehow, she's even more beautiful and pristine up here, and he finds he's not surprised.

"Have fun." Bobby says, raising his beer in acknowledgment. And so, Dean does.

***

"So you two really decided to live a stone's throw away from Bobby?" Dean asks, finishing the last of his pie. Seven slices was _completely_ normal, he'd tried to tell himself. He'd justified his decision by explaining to Mary that as her son, he was legally obligated to never leave a plate empty when she'd cooked. Mary had rolled her eyes, but she added a huge dollop of whipped cream on top of that seventh slice, trying and failing to hide her smile.

"Sure did. You know, after everything he did for us, for _you_ , we never got to really thank him," John replies, looking wistful. "This here is a second chance - a chance to do better. _Be_ better."

Mary clears their plates and stops to gently kiss John on the cheek. "We _are_ better. Every day we get to live up here is another chance to live the life we've always dreamed of." She wraps her arms around Dean when she comes back to the table. "We are so glad you're here, Dean."

Dean absolutely _does not_ get misty-eyed. He clears his throat and stands up to give Mary a proper hug. "Thanks for the dinner, Mom." He sighs as he feels her arms wrap around him. He then turns to John, who is fidgeting slightly. "It's great to see you, Dad," Dean says, taking the few steps over to John and wrapping his arms around him in a quick hug.

John grips him tightly, clapping him on the shoulder once he releases him. "We're so glad you're here, Son. You gave so much of your life for the cause...it's time for you to relax and enjoy it. Now you'd best be getting along - I reckon you have a few more folks to visit tod-oof." John winces as Mary gives him a not so subtle kick as she walks by.

"John, let him be." Mary gives Dean one last kiss on the cheek. "Tell Cas we expect him here next week for dinner - he's been working so hard on this new Heaven I don't think he's even stopped to take care of himself."

Dean clears his throat as he shrugs back into his jacket. "I'll tell him, Mom," he promises. He figures there's no use in denying where he's driving to next. Up here, all of the denial and wasted time seems so insignificant. With a last wave, Dean heads back to Baby and hits the road again.

***

Dean's been driving for about a half hour when he realizes he has _no_ idea where he's going. Bobby had pointed him to his parents' house, but he hadn't said anything about where Cas had ended up. Dean finally gives up his aimless driving and parks Baby outside a small, quaint house about a mile away from Harvelle's Roadhouse. It's almost as if he'd dreamed it up, and it was suddenly just _there_. The sun has just started to sink behind the mountains, and Dean leans over the fence on the house's balcony. He closes his eyes and lifts up a soft prayer. He doesn't focus on sending any particular words through his prayer, and he wonders if Cas can even still hear him like this. Some of his most vulnerable confessions and conversations with Cas have happened through prayer, so Dean figures it's worth a try.

When he hears the telltale flap of wings, he feels like someone has wrapped their hand around his heart and _squeezed_ it. He finds he's overcome with emotion, so he takes a deep, slow breath before he turns around. And just like that, he's face to face with Cas again. Cas looks the same - it seems even this new Heaven can't rid him of his trench coat and tie, and Dean can't bring himself to mind. "Cas," he breathes, still trying to convince himself this is all real.

"Hello, Dean," Cas says, a soft smile playing at his lips. He takes a small step forward and Dean can't help but smile at how unsure Cas looks. Dean bridges the gap easily and pulls Cas into his arms. He wonders in that moment if he's ever felt relief like this before, and as Cas buries his face against his neck, he decides that no, he's never felt anything quite like this in his life.

"Don't you _ever_ pull that shit again, you hear me, Cas?" Dean growls, but there's no malice behind it. "You _died_. You let the Empty take you, and for what?"

Cas just gives him that same peaceful smile. "For _you_ , Dean. For Sam, for Bobby, for your parents...for _everyone_. I knew Jack was the key, and I _knew_ he'd make things right when given the chance."

Dean paces back and forth, unsure whether he wants to yell at Cas or kiss him. Cas's last words before being swallowed by the empty had left him rattled, to say the least - he'd always felt a special bond between himself and Cas, and they'd had what he supposes could be called "moments," but to hear those words from Cas's mouth had just about stopped Dean's world on its axis. Dean continues pacing while Cas watches him patiently. "Did you...what you said, before you died..." Dean tries, his mouth suddenly feeling dry.

"I love you, Dean." Cas replies, and he's so _sure_ of himself. He's so incredibly confident as he says those words, and Dean feels like his heart is being squeezed all over again. "I've always loved you. From the moment I pulled you out of hell and saw your soul, I knew you were different. As I began to fight by your side...as you taught me what friendship meant...I only loved you more each moment. I didn't expect you to say anything back, and I don't expect you to now. I gave my life to save you and if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a single thing. I would let the Empty take me all over again if it meant saving you."

Dean opens his mouth to speak, closes it again, and turns to face Cas. The openness he sees in Cas's eyes makes Dean's own eyes prickle with tears. Back on Earth, Dean supposes he might walk away at this point, unwilling to admit what he's known for years. But here, in _Heaven_ , Dean knows there's no point in hiding. He can finally be truly, completely happy - all he needs to do is _allow_ himself to be. "Cas, I..." He tries once more, but no words seem to come out. Finally, Dean reaches for Cas again and tugs him into his arms. When his lips finally crash against Cas's, the floodgates seem to open and he can't stop. Kissing Cas feels like he's been underwater and is finally coming up for air, and Dean wraps his arms around the angel to pull him closer. Before he can stop himself, he finds his tongue running along the seam of Cas's lips, and Cas immediately grants him entrance, letting out a low whimper that Dean swears he'll dream about for the rest of eternity. Cas runs his hands all over Dean like he's trying to memorize him. As if he needs to. As if he hasn't already taken every piece of Dean apart and put him back together.

When they finally pull apart, Dean is panting and Cas's eyes are dark and wild, full of awe and desire and what Dean knows is love. "I need you." Dean says, his voice dangerously low. It's as close as he can get to what he really wants to say but it's a step in the right direction. Cas reaches for Dean's hand and lets Dean pull him inside the house. Dean's not surprised to see the house is already fully furnished, and he doesn't need to think about where the bedroom is; he just _knows_. The room is dimly lit, and Dean tugs Cas closer to the bed, gently sitting him down and standing between his legs. Cas looks up at him with complete trust, and Dean's heart _aches_ with something he's not sure he's ever felt before - not like this. Dean gently eases Cas backward until he's completely laying down, and he crawls on top of him slowly. "I need you," he repeats, this time as a murmur against Cas's neck.

"Please, Dean," Cas whimpers, grinding against Dean. He's hard, and Dean suddenly realizes when he feels Cas's length brush against him that he's hard as well. Dean presses open-mouthed kisses along Cas's neck until Cas is writhing against him, and he helps Cas out of his trench coat and tie quietly but quickly. Cas gets the message and slips out of his pants while Dean takes his own shirt and pants off, and finally, _finally_ they are naked, Dean kissing Cas again until he can't breathe. Cas drops his lips to Dean's neck, licking and sucking at his pulse point until Dean is back to grinding against him desperately. "Dean," Cas growls, "I need to feel you inside me."

Dean presses his forehead against Cas's and stares into his eyes. "Yeah," he murmurs, "I can do that." He reaches over to the table next to the bed, unsurprised when he easily locates the lube in the top drawer. He applies a liberal amount to his fingers and moves back on top of Cas. "You tell me if I hurt you, understand?"

Cas rolls his eyes and lifts his hips to accommodate the pillow Dean has placed under him. Dean presses a tentative finger against Cas's hole, tracing the rim gently to gauge Cas's reaction. Any fear he'd had about hurting Cas immediately dissipates when Cas lets out the filthiest moan Dean's ever heard. He arches his hips up, encouraging Dean to go further, and Dean finally slips his finger in. "More," Cas whines as Dean lets him adjust, and Dean can't seem to deny him anything so he gently adds a second finger. As he begins to scissor his fingers, Cas grinds against him, begging for more. Dean curls his fingers and gently brushes Cas's prostate, and as Cas cries out, Dean realizes this is Cas's _first time_ doing this. He vows to bring Cas all the pleasure he deserves, and as he finally adds a third finger, he knows Cas is getting desperate. Dean takes mercy and stops rubbing at his prostate, letting him calm down a bit. When Dean deems Cas ready, he gently removes his fingers, eliciting another whine from the angel. He can't wait any longer so he slicks himself up with some more lube and he looks down at Cas once more.

"I'm ready, Dean," Cas promises, his fingers running through Dean's hair. He wraps his legs around Dean's waist and Dean presses against his entrance, slowly pushing in. Dean's jaw immediately goes slack as he's engulfed by tight heat, and when his eyes meet Cas's, he knows Cas is in a similar state. His eyes are wide and his breathing has become ragged. Dean gives him time to adjust, but it only takes a few moments for Cas to wrap his arms around Dean and rock against him. Taking the hint, Dean moves, starting with slow, shallow thrusts as the two adjust. He's able to thrust deeper each time, and when he's completely buried inside Cas, he brushes his lips against the angel's. "Please, Dean..." Cas begs but Dean doesn't know for what. All he knows is that he _needs_ to move. And so he does. He pounds into Cas as he buries his face against his neck, knowing he's babbling as he gets closer to the edge.

"Fuck, Cas," Dean groans, slamming into him. "I've wanted this for so long, you have no idea." He speeds up as Cas cries out again. He lifts his hips up higher and Dean knows he's hitting his prostate with every thrust. "I'm close, Cas," he whines, and Cas kisses him again, his tongue sliding against Dean's.

"Dean!" Cas cries out, and he's coming in thick spurts between them.

It only takes Dean a few more thrusts before he's coming inside Cas with a strangled cry. "I love you," he gasps as he clings to Cas. Cas stares up at Dean in wonder, and only then does Dean realize that he has tears streaming down his face. "I love you, I love you, I..." Dean breaks off with a sob as he collapses against Cas. The tears keep coming and he doesn't even try to hide them.

Cas tilts his face up and wipes Dean's tears away with his thumb. "I love you, Dean." He replies, kissing Dean once more. "I will love you for the rest of eternity."

***

"So, uh." Dean finds himself standing at Mary and John's door for their Friday night dinner. Cas is by his side and Dean's trying to figure out to to explain to his parents that he's hopelessly in love with the angel.

"Cas, it's so great to see you're finally enjoying the Heaven you created." Mary greets them, pulling Cas into a hug first, and then Dean. "I take it you two are settling in nicely?"

"We are," Cas replies, smiling warmly. "Hello, John."

John shakes Cas's hand after pulling Dean into a quick hug. "You boys are just in time - no cooking tonight, we're heading over to Harvelle's for some burgers."

Dean grins as the four start to head up the road to Harvelle's, catching himself thinking once again how perfect this moment would be if only Sam was with them. "You know what? I'll meet you guys there in a few. I need to do something real fast." He hangs back and instead heads back to Baby. He starts the engine and drives over to the bridge he's grown accustomed to spending time at when he misses Sam particularly badly. He can't explain it, but he just feels like he _needs_ to be here at this moment. He remembers Bobby's words: "Time up here, it's...it's different."

As Dean takes his spot on the bridge, he suddenly feels it. He's always been in tune with his brother's presence, and in Heaven it's no exception. "Hey, Sammy." He says, a smile slowly spreading across his face.

"Dean," Sam greets, allowing himself to be pulled into a hug.

After letting Sam take some time to marvel at the view before them, they head over to Harvelle's to meet up with Mary, John, and Cas. Dean thinks to himself, that yeah, things are finally perfect.


End file.
